>From: "Suzie =)" AUTHORS NOTES: response to challenge: Okay, I just read a review of next week's episode [Helter Skelter] and it mentions that Rachel's father gives Jack her diary. So I thought I'd set a little challenge for the list - write what you think might be one of the entries in the diary. Stories to be posted before the episode airs on Tuesday. - kay so I've seen the ep, but I only just finished it, hope you still like it... feedback would be groovy suzie@standard.net.au Title: Inner Thoughts Author: Suz Date: 16 Sept. 1999 - 19 Oct 1999 Rating: PG I guess Category: response to challenge Summary: The inner most thoughts of the person you love most in the world written down on piece of paper, how do you deal with what you find? Disclaimer: No matter how much I want to, I don't have any rights to any of these characters, as unfair as that it... But I get away with borrowing them so I'm happy enough. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ INNER THOUGHTS ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Jack sat in his lounge room. Eyes red from crying, again. Never did he think that he could have cried so much, over one person. Once again he turned the diary over in his hands, wondering, should it be opened. "I want you to have this." Felix had placed the book in his hands, smiled and walked away. Tell me that the game is over Tell me I'm dreamin' Tell me that this pain is over Just take me away Taking a deep breath he opened the diary... Frank left... what can I say, shit I'll miss him. More than anything. He is my best friend. I don't know what I'll do with out him. I mean I'll cope, I'm sure I will I have to, but, shit, I dunno, it'll be hard, really hard. 'Bout as hard a loosing David to Jonathon I guess. Turning the page he read the next entry... Jack bloody Christey. Franks replacement. Should've seen it coming. I guess who better to replace Frank than the person that just can't seem to get along with him. No matter what I tried to do or say, they never saw eye to eye. Typical bloody men, too much alike. Jack smiled as he read that. Pausing for a moment he flipped towards the end... I don't know what to do. I miss Frank, hell I think I even loved him there for a while. But he's not here, and Jack is. I know how Jack feels about me, but I don't know what I feel for him. Is it love or lust? How do I know where it will go? Anywhere? It's not like it's uncharted territory or anything. More like well explored. But how do I work out what I feel, I haven't got a great track record... Jonathon, Knocker, I guess Frank, Jack... I think I'm destined to be alone unless I work out my priorities. I don't think that a work relationship would ever, go anywhere, Johnson and Sykes' didn't, but then their just kids. Probably why Frank and I never, you know... I don't know what to do, how I feel about Jack, or Frank for that matter. It scares me. I've always been so in control of my life. Helen has always said that. Helen... what would she say if Jack and I ever? She'd call me stupid that's for sure. I guess I feel something for him, otherwise this would be an easy decision to make. Just thanks, but no thanks. I don't know how much I feel though. Do I want to be in it for the long haul? I had that, and lost it. I don't regret it, loosing Jonathon that is, but David hell. I have to make a choice, it's cruel for him not to know... Jack wondered if he was doing the right thing, whether it was invading her privacy, what would she say if she knew. This was an invasion of her inner most thoughts. What she was thinking, how she felt and about who. Sighing he closed the diary and placed it in his bottom drawer. =THE END= all groovy type feedback to suzie@standard.net.au